Accepting Your New Identity As Mom

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I can’t tell you how important the topic we will be discussing in this article is! Acceptance of situations that may or may not be outside of your control can bring your body a sense of peace, ease, and allow you to move forward. Entering into motherhood is probably the hardest transition a woman will make in her life! The moment your baby is born, your life and time are altered. For many, this transition in life is so challenging that it can drive you to some pretty dark places. I believe the key to moving on and away from those dark places and thriving in your motherhood journey is this topic of accepting your new identity as mom. Keep reading to learn how to do this and the impact it will have on your emotional and overall health as a mother!

How To Accept Your New Identity As Mom

Your identity as a person changed when you became a mother. Some mothers feel a loss of identity as they care for their children. All of their time is now spent caring for their precious newborn.

This change in identity, loss of personal time, and drastic increase in demands (caring for the baby’s needs) can be so overwhelming for mom. Listen to Lily voice her thoughts on this topic.

“Loss of self identity. Not knowing who you are and mourning who you used to be and scared of who you will be.”
Lily

Accepting your new identity as mom will be a complete game changer for you! When you learn how to accept who you are now, and celebrate in the season of life you are in, it will totally give you a new and better outlook in life. Accepting your role as a mother will give you a sense of happiness, excitement, and joy for life!

Are you ready to learn how to do that? Keep reading if you are!

The Power Of Acceptance

What does it mean to accept something? In our topic of discussion, accepting your new identity as mom, it means to take it as fact. Acceptance says, “Life may not be how I want it to be. However, it is what it is, and that’s ok with me.”

How do to get to that point? You may be thinking, “Will I ever be able to be ok with the way my life is right now?” The answer is with practice and time. Acceptance does not come overnight and it definitely should not be forced. If you force yourself to accept something, you may unintentionally make yourself bitter about your situation. We do NOT want that!

Give yourself time. Allow yourself to practice thinking positive thoughts about your motherhood. Changing the way the brain thinks takes time and effort. You need to replace old, negative thoughts about your motherhood with new, positive ones! To learn more about how to do this, read my article Affirmations For Moms. I’ve created 30 positive affirmations for mothers to help you think positively about your life as a mother. Also feel free to click the button below to check out the article.

Affirmations For Moms!

Now let’s learn more about the power of acceptance.

Letting Go Of Anger And Frustration

Acceptance allows you to let go of your anger and frustration. Let me share my story with you.

As a new mom, I was so frustrated! My newborn was tongue-tied and colicky. Breastfeeding was awful. I had cracked, bleeding nipples and severe engorgement by day 6 of her life! My baby cried for 5-8 hours a day. I had a 3rd degree tear I was healing from. Also I had diastasis recti and hemorroids to deal with. My body and emotions were in SHOCK to say the least!

As I struggled to find solutions to all my and my baby’s physical needs, I became very overwhelmed and frustrated. Nothing I seemed to do was working.

Once I learned to accept the fact that my baby’s and my experiences and needs were different than I had hoped for, I was more at peace. Sure I still felt frustrated and stressed as I tried to overcome our challenges day after day. However, now I had more energy to put towards finding solutions. Less of my energy was taken by anger and stress once I accepted our reality.

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Healing And Moving On

Another benefit of acceptance in motherhood is the power it gives you to heal and move on. Instead of fighting reality and being in a constant state of anger and stress, you will be able to finally heal from your pain.

Lots of mothers feel a sense of loss of identity as they enter motherhood. This legit can feel like a death! When something or someone you care about dies, that is a pain you will need to heal from.

What in your motherhood journey do you need to accept? Below are some examples.

Lack of free time (although this will change some day!)
Change in body look and function
My child’s behavior, health, gender (i.e. you wanted a boy but got a girl), etc.
Change in social status
Financial changes

Practicing acceptance can help you find healing for your current situation. Once you accept whatever you are facing, it allows you to establish your footing again. You’re now able to gain emotional stability. This allows you think clearly and make a plan as to how you will move forward.

NOTE

Acceptance does not mean that you are not going to do anything to change your current situation. It just means that you’re no longer going to fight the facts. You’re ok with how reality is and will find a way to move forward.

Acceptance Can Help You Have Self-Compassion

Accepting your new identity as mom will help you slow things down. Your mind and emotions will calm down. Finally you will be able to think clearly about your emotions. When you do this, you may discover you’re able to have compassion on yourself.

For example, once I accepted the fact that I had diastasis recti (a separation in abdominal muscles from the sternum all the way down the the pubic bone) I was able to have compassion and understanding on my body. I had just carried a growing child for 9 months. Life itself was made by my body! Now, my body would never be the same.

I decided to start a diastasis recti exercise program to bring healing to my core. Tears ran down my face as I started to have compassion and love for my core instead of a hateful resentment.

As you practice acceptance, you will be able to have compassion for yourself too!

Celebrating The Change

One great way to accept change is to celebrate it in some way. We celebrate changes in our lives in other ways. Birthdays are celebrated for another year added to your life. Engagements and marriages are celebrated with parties and food. Even new babies are celebrated by baby showers.

How can mothers celebrate their entrance into motherhood? Find a way to celebrate that would mean something to you. Below are some ideas.

Babymoon – one last fun travel with your spouse before baby arrives
Special date night
Evening out with your mom and talk about how she entered motherhood
Buy a journal to start when you become a mother
A fun party with your girl friends

There are lots of ways to celebrate your entrance into motherhood. Find what would mean a lot to you and do it!

Find A Monument

When I was pregnant with our first daughter, my husband took me to a jewelers shop. I picked out a bracelet with a charm. The charm said “Mom” – a word that I had never attributed to myself.

Wearing that bracelet during my pregnancy and afterwords helped me “grow into” and appreciate that word “Mom”. Mothers are a sense of love, comfort and security for their children. I could now be someone else’s love, comfort and security! How I loved being reminded of that as I wore my bracelet!

Monuments are symbols that mark a special event. That bracelet was a type of monument for me. It was a symbol that signified my entrance into motherhood.

Jewelry makes great monuments! They are beautiful, usually bought to mark a special event, and can be worn and seen every day.

Understand Your Value As Mom

Mother and child for this article accepting your new identity as mom

Why is understanding our value important to our emotional health? First off, you will be more likely to speak negative self-talk to yourself. That alone will have a huge impact on your emotions.

How do you treat something that’s not valuable? When I see a magazine I don’t want, I recycle it. If there’s crumbs on the floor, I sweep them up. When we see something that’s not valuable, we either ignore it or get rid of it, right? If you don’t see your value as a mother, you will not invest into your motherhood journey. When you don’t invest into something like you should, the results are not that great.

You have value! Let that phrase sink in. If you don’t believe it, start believing it. You are the very center of your child’s whole world! Without you, they would be and feel lost. You mean the world to your child. They adore you and love you unconditionally. You are valuable, Mama!

Secondly, as a mother, you are a nurturer. Your body grew and birthed life into the world. Only you now how to best care for your child. You know what makes them tick and how to calm them. With each day, you shape your children into healthy people.

Thirdly, what you do now will impact generations to come! You may not feel like you’re living an extraordinary life. Motherhood really does not seem glamorous. However, how you invest in your children will impact their children, and their children’s children. Every toy you pick up, every correction you give, every piece of advice you tell them makes a lasting imprint on your child’s mind and heart.

Summary

In this article, we learned that accepting your new identity as mom has a powerful affect on your emotional health. Acceptance gives you the ability to heal and move on. Also, acceptance allows you to have self compassion and love for your current situations.

Secondly we learned that celebrating your transition into motherhood is a great way to accept your new identity as mom! What would mean a lot to you? A date night? Maybe a girl’s night out?

Also, in this article we learned the importance of monuments. Monuments symbolize an important event that took place. Entering into motherhood is definitely an important event! Jewelry makes great monuments! You can easily wear it, see it every day, admire its beauty, have let its meaning sink into your heart every day! Find a beautiful piece of jewelry as your monument of becoming a mother!